This Child of Mine – Emma-Claire Wilson

Published By: Avon
Pages: 352
Released On: 06/07/2023

When Stephanie is told she’s pregnant and that she is sick on the same day, she faces an impossible choice…

After trying for a baby for so long, finding out I was pregnant was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. But in the same breath as the news I had been waiting years to hear, the doctor told me I was seriously ill.

If I carry my baby to term, I will almost certainly die.

If I proceed with treatment, my baby will not live.

My husband – the father of this child – is telling me to save myself. But with all the secrets I know he is keeping from me, I can’t trust him anymore.

What would you do?

*****

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for the advanced copy of this title in return for an honest review.

Is there a more heart-breaking book to come out this year than this? Even before I’d started reading it I knew I was going to be in for a tear-soaked time.

I can’t even explain the way it’s written to give it the justice it deserves. The words…they’re like poetry, like silk moved on the page, like smooth melted chocolate – it’s just so poetic and elegant and eloquent.

It’s not an easy read. If you’re like me, you’ll cry within the first few pages. It’s a hard story but a beautiful one.

I mean, it goes without saying that there’s difficult subjects: pregnancy, miscarriage, cancer, death, grief, abandonment. So yes, it is hard to read in that sense, but it is handled so tenderly and sensitively that it’s just a masterpiece of read. And it’s a debut novel, which is just astounding, to have this much clarity of voice in a debut.

It’s an impossible decision to make that Stephanie is faced with. Some may not like her for her one-track-mind, but I liked her for her strength. She was willing to discuss other options, but she knew in her heart what she wanted to do, and as it’s her body at the end of the day, she believes that is all that matters. Whereas her husband James, I was a bit on the fence with for a lot of it. I understand his emotion and his frustration, but he seemed closed off to any other options, and he irked me somewhat. I just wanted to give them both a shake, make them sit down until they had an adult discussion. Neither can do it alone. He often called her selfish but I think at times he is the one that’s selfish. They were my initial thoughts on the couple. But it’s a complex book with complex emotions and complex characters; I flitted from sympathy to anger and back again throughout the book.

There is something so personal about the way it is written that I fear it’s come from first-hand experience, and I really hope that’s not true.

Somehow, given how dark and sad the storyline is, there’s this potent undercurrent of hope and joy and love. Even in the worst of times, there is always something that’ll lift you up, even if you can’t see it at first. It’s weird, there were moments where I was reading with a smile on my face but with tears streaming down. I think it’s impressive writing to be able to balance the grief of the moment with sympathy and empathy and tenderness, without making a spectacle of it but without sugar coating it.

As someone who has had more than their fair share of grief over the years, I often find it difficult to fully put into words how I feel, but it’s like Emma-Claire has written what my heart and soul needed to hear.

I think I am going to have the biggest book hangover from this one. It’s proof why I generally steer clear of star ratings when I can, because this is worth more than 5 stars. In fact, I’m not sure there’s enough stars in the sky to give this book the credit it deserves.