Published By: Michael Joseph
Pages: 352
Released On: 13/04/2023
Meet Isobel, Jen and Zelda.
Three women whose bodies and minds are not their own.
They belong to the Church.
Life and death decisions are taken by others on their behalf.
Who they might marry.
Whether they start a family.
Isobel and Jen know nothing of the world.
But when Isobel’s husband leaves her and Jen challenges those in charge, the Church turns its back on them.
Zelda – never one for doing what is expected – dares to find hope on the outside.
Meet Isobel, Jen and Zelda.
Three women desperate to find a life to call their own . . .
*****
I have a love/hate relationship with so-called “books of the year”. But this one, right here? Yeah, that’s a pretty little slice of perfection. It is absolutely sublime, I read it in one sitting whilst in hospital, and no-one could grab my attention for an entire afternoon. It just grabbed me and hooked me in and wouldn’t let me leave until I’d finished it. This is the only Jodie Chapman book I’ve read but I will definitely be looking out for others as this was just spellbinding.
I’ve read a number of books about religious “cults” as some call them, and so far, I’ve enjoyed nearly all of them. You would think they would be a bit samey, and I suppose there are similar themes, but the authors all of their own personal experience and therefore they can put part of themselves in their books, giving each one the edge.
Jodie doesn’t hold back on the difficult themes in this book. You can tell she’s lived these things and I have so much admiration for her as a human being as well as an author. As a child, she grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, not celebrating birthdays, Christmases, parties, Easter etc. In fact, she was 35 when she attended her first birthday party. Sadly, her decision to leave the religion has meant she is cult off by several members of her family, as they put the religion first, but Jodie wanted to put herself and her own family above everything. She has been open and honest in interviews about how she would often imagine her fellow classmates succumbing to Armageddon, whilst she and other believes passed into Paradise. That’s something very extreme to put on a child. And I have no doubt it was an incredibly difficult thing to grow up thinking and it was an incredibly difficult thing to leave, but her experiences have created one hell of a book.
There are three main protagonists; Jen, Isobel, and Zelda. Whilst they all have their similarities when it comes to the religion, they are all completely separate and very well developed. They’re realistic and familiar and you want to wish them all the best on their respective journeys inside and outside the religion. Yes, they are victims, but they’re not written as victims – well, not all the time anyway. They all have their own thoughts and beliefs, things that women aren’t always allowed to voice, and I found them to be three of the strongest characters I’ve read.
There are many supporting characters holding up the story of our three protagonists, but none of them stole the scenes out from under them. That’s not because they’re badly written or anything, I don’t think there’s anything badly written here, but the three women are just such powerhouses that everyone else tends to fade into the background.
I liked that the story wasn’t just black and white. It’s not a case of being in the religion or being out. Of feeling happy and feeling sad. Of believing or not believing. There are so many layers to it, it’s so complex, and you can see how difficult it must be to put the religion above your family and friends, but also how difficult it is to put yourself above the religion.
I won’t give away the ending, but I did love it. It showed that these things aren’t always – as I said above – black and white. That’s not reality. Reality is complicated and harsh and raw and not picture perfect, and I loved that she chose to show that side of it.
I won’t lie, it’s a hard book to read. There are some seriously intense themes, and some emotional scenes, talk of sexual abuse, death, complicated love affairs etc. They are hard to read sometimes, but I think she’s found a nice balance. They’re there for a point, to show that this religion is not always the happy place it’s often depicted as, but they’re not just there for entertainment purposes. They really mean something to the author, the characters, and the reader.
The only thing I struggled with – at least initially – is that it’s not written in a linear fashion. It jumps about from the present to their childhood, to their teenage years, to when they were young adults; here and there, following the three protagonists, and this can take a bit of getting your head round. And whilst it was a bit jumpy, it didn’t affect it enough to bring it down to 4 stars. This is a 5 star read whichever way you look at it.
You can tell Jodie has lived this. You can see her heart and soul and passion that comes through with every single word. I often found myself reading it through tears, for the happiness as well as the sadness and anger. It’s about finding yourself, finding faith in yourself, finding your own happiness, your own love, your own family, and your own future.
It is so beautifully written that it will definitely be on my top books of 2023 list!
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